confessions of a thirty year old

Much to my surprise, turning 30 this past summer wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be. For the most part, it was just another birthday and life moved on. Over the past 6 months however, I have noticed that actually turning 30 itself wasn't that big of a deal, but it did make me more aware of things - physical, emotional, and mental changes that had been taking place for some time. I go to bed earlier, sleep in less, and have different interests than I did five years ago.

This Christmas, I went home for 9 days, most of which was spent with my sister in Sacramento. The week was a whirlwind ... with three Christmases ... and by the end of it, I was definitely tired of people, alcohol, and rich food. But as I was sitting in the Sacramento airport waiting for my flight, I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach ... and then I realized, I didn't want to go back to southern California. I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Other than one summer at home, I have lived in Los Angeles since I was 18 years old. I grew up in a small town, a town which I love dearly, but I was tired of the small town atmosphere and wanted to escape and create a life for myself and USC provided me with that opportunity. When I graduated, there wasn't ever a question of me returning to northern California, and other than wishing I could afford a house in San Francisco (totally not realistic!), I've never seriously considered it during the nearly nine years I have been out of college. But as I sat in the airport I started thinking about Sacramento and what it has to offer me.

I work very hard at my job and like to think that at my age, I have accomplished a lot. However, in spite of my healthy salary, I live in a rented four-bedroom townhouse, with three other roommates. I am tired of having to find new roommates and having to share my belongings - all of the furniture, dishes, appliances, etc are mine - that aren't always taken care of as nicely as I would like them to be. I also hate wanting to do household improvements, and then having to decide if I want to put the money into it knowing that I will lose that investment when I move out. This fall I sat down and started seriously looking at buying a condo down here, and with only my income, what I could afford would be in bad shape and WAAAAY out from anywhere I would actually want to live. After looking at houses in Sacramento, I realized I could afford a brand-new townhouse in an area of town I like ... without stretching myself. The thought of owning something I can call my own, something that I can invest in ... is SO appealing to me right now.

I don't think it's any secret that I am at the point in my life where marriage and children are often on my mind, and while LA is only a one hour plane ride away, I like the thought of being closer to my mom and sisters so we can all experience each others marriages and children together. This weekend, my sister Molly is moving and everyone is helping her and then going out to dinner. I wish I could be there. I wish I could just call up my sisters and go out to dinner, or just last-minute decide to go visit my mom for a night. I also have other family in Sacramento and I would love to be able to spend more time with them.

I don't regret living in LA, nor am I miserable living here right now ... I mean come on, it is January and it's 80 degrees outside!!! However, I am getting tired of the 45 minute commute (one-way) to work, tired of it taking 30 minutes to drive to a friend's house, tired of the total superficiality of Los Angeles, and tired of everything being so expensive. I think southern California was what I needed in my 20s ... unlimited professional opportunities, new activities everywhere, a fast pace of life, away from my family, etc. But now I look Sacramento and it appeals to me ... smaller, but still big city enough to have restaurants, concerts, etc; slower paced; shorter commutes; and the list goes on. It's also only an hour away from Napa, San Francisco, and Tahoe - three of my favorite places on earth.

A lot of Californians give Sacramento a bad time, and that's okay, but I think if you checked it out, you would like it. And even if you don't, I'm okay with that. I like it and I can honestly say, I have decided to move back ... there, I said it. That doesn't mean I'm moving tomorrow (thanks California budget cuts!), but I have a goal and I'm working toward it. There will be things about LA I will miss like crazy ... good friends since college, my "BFF" Allison, SC football, the beach, my dad, Jack and Kate!, crickets (smile), and many others. But all of these things are a short plane ride away and I'll have a guest room in my new townhouse so come visit anytime!